Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Home Stretch

Almost there! The big welcome for Benjamin Robert (Ben) and Jacob Charles (Jake) will be on Monday, June 27th at 7:30AM EST. Jeff will be spending the night at the hospital with me so that we are both ready and waiting first thing that morning. After all the waiting and resting, it's finally here! Soon, this big blob of a belly will become two tiny little real people! And as soon as I am in recovery and have spent some time with all of my boys, Emily will be coming to meet her new brothers and be the best big sister ever.

As always, we appreciate your prayers for a safe and healthy delivery of the boys and surgery for me, and then a quick recovery and short NICU stay for the boys as they learn to breathe on their own and eat like champs. More pictures to come! Much love to all!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I can see the stars ablaze...

"I may be a dreamer, yeah, but I believe in faith
Only in the darkness can you see the stars ablaze"

(Trevor Hall, Many Roads)

From the moment when my oncologist said "These are miracle babies," I knew the next year of our lives and beyond were going to be something special. And when my OB said "Katy! Do you do anything normally? This is amazing!" I laughed and cracked a joke, saying, "Nope. I guess not. I'm multi-tasking and making up for lost time." What I should have said is, "My God is a mighty God and He is at work."

Since finding out we were expecting twins, this pregnancy took on a life of its own, far beyond anything I ever imagined. Beyond the incredible blessing and fulfillment I felt in claiming Jeremiah 29:11 after my miscarriage (I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. -The Message), this pregnancy seemed to reach out to so many people beyond our tiny nuclear family, giving hope, reassurance and restoration that God is faithful and His timing is perfect. The prayers, expectation, support and intimate connection so many people have felt to these two tiny lives have been overwhelming for me, as it felt like God was using me as a vessel to heal wounds and restore hope to many and that His work was just getting started.

As I sit in the hospital, with the impending early arrival of our boys, with a host of obstacles to overcome in hopes of holding off delivery until my 34th week so that their lungs, brains and eyes have some extra time to develop, I have this incredible sense that something important is coming. Everyone who has checked the boys out, heard their heartbeats, seen their ultrasounds, has laughed and marveled, "They are huge! They look great! I've never seen such big, strong babies! They are beautiful and just perfect! They don't show any signs of distress and are happy to be inside you." And yesterday, when I got to see them practice their breathing on the ultrasound for the first time and saw their tiny diaphragms inflate and bellies rise, I was moved to see that they seem to know they are coming soon and are already practicing and getting ready, and with the miracle of creation and life, God is encouraging them to learn how to breathe just when it is most needed.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139: 13-16, The Message

I truly believe that God is working a mighty work right now, and that He means to finish what He has started with triumph and glory in believing that He is able in all circumstances and the best is yet to come. So I sit, resting in this hospital bed, marveling at the stars ablaze, and I wait. And watch. Knowing that this promise holds true:

And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age.
Matthew 28:20 International Standard Version

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Week 4 Complete: Hello, chipmunk.

I will be 31 weeks tomorrow. And holy cow, I've entered the chipmunk phase. I kept telling myself, well at least your face still looks pretty slender. Your weight is astronomical, but it seems to be all baby. And then I saw this picture. And said, "Hello, chipmunk." I admit it, I had a moment. One of those, I can't believe I'm on bed rest, living life like an ever-growing couch potato, when will this end moments. It's been a rough week. It seems I have reached the point of total and utter discomfort in pretty much any position. There are few moments of relief. My doctor tells me to keep reminding myself that I am presently at the same point as a full-term, 40 week singleton pregnancy would be, as if that somehow makes the discomfort more bearable.

Anywho, enough whining. At the end of the day, if my cheeks are plump, the babies' cheeks are plump, and that makes me smile. And if the activity in my belly is any indication, they are blissfully happy and presently training to be Olympic super athletes.

I don't have too much to report this week, other than admitting I am absolutely addicted to Lost and spend most of my time working my way through the 120 available episodes on Netflix (Praise God for Netflix!). I am presently on episode 43. Yes, that's right, 43 hours of TV. And another 80 or so to go. Other things I love right now: Pandora. My giant Boppy body pillow. My Blackberry Klondike game.

Two prayer requests:

1. If you happen to think of it, pray for me between the hours of 8PM-10PM. These are my "bewitching" hours. It's usually when I'm mentally tired and wishing I could just fall asleep to pass the hours. And usually about the same time my body throws an absolute tantrum at being sedentary all day and becomes so restless that any position makes me antsy and sleep evades me. I dread these hours every day. Once I finally fall asleep, I'm good. But the road there is rough and it's one of my more depressing and frustrating times.

2. Our little Ivy (see previously posted amazingly cute bulldog pup pics) is pretty sick. She, being a high maintenance breed, seems to be our special needs dog (as if I thought anyone could top Tucker's neediness and seizures!) and has terrible seasonal allergies. She is itchy, pretty uncomfortable, and truth be told, looks kind of like a mangy mutt right now because she has lost patches of fur all over. She is on some pretty heavy antibiotics, a special diet of wheat-free food, and a host of other attempts to get her past this and more comfortable going into the summer. She is the sweetest pup ever and has the cutest little face and it breaks my heart to see her wriggle in discomfort. So, pray that these antibiotics finally do the trick and she is back to her regular insane puppy self in no time.

PS. My lovely sidekick in this picture is my bestie, Becky. For those that know me personally, you know Becky. For those that don't, I can only tell you I hope you have at least one Becky in your life!
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