Thursday, June 16, 2011

I can see the stars ablaze...

"I may be a dreamer, yeah, but I believe in faith
Only in the darkness can you see the stars ablaze"

(Trevor Hall, Many Roads)

From the moment when my oncologist said "These are miracle babies," I knew the next year of our lives and beyond were going to be something special. And when my OB said "Katy! Do you do anything normally? This is amazing!" I laughed and cracked a joke, saying, "Nope. I guess not. I'm multi-tasking and making up for lost time." What I should have said is, "My God is a mighty God and He is at work."

Since finding out we were expecting twins, this pregnancy took on a life of its own, far beyond anything I ever imagined. Beyond the incredible blessing and fulfillment I felt in claiming Jeremiah 29:11 after my miscarriage (I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. -The Message), this pregnancy seemed to reach out to so many people beyond our tiny nuclear family, giving hope, reassurance and restoration that God is faithful and His timing is perfect. The prayers, expectation, support and intimate connection so many people have felt to these two tiny lives have been overwhelming for me, as it felt like God was using me as a vessel to heal wounds and restore hope to many and that His work was just getting started.

As I sit in the hospital, with the impending early arrival of our boys, with a host of obstacles to overcome in hopes of holding off delivery until my 34th week so that their lungs, brains and eyes have some extra time to develop, I have this incredible sense that something important is coming. Everyone who has checked the boys out, heard their heartbeats, seen their ultrasounds, has laughed and marveled, "They are huge! They look great! I've never seen such big, strong babies! They are beautiful and just perfect! They don't show any signs of distress and are happy to be inside you." And yesterday, when I got to see them practice their breathing on the ultrasound for the first time and saw their tiny diaphragms inflate and bellies rise, I was moved to see that they seem to know they are coming soon and are already practicing and getting ready, and with the miracle of creation and life, God is encouraging them to learn how to breathe just when it is most needed.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139: 13-16, The Message

I truly believe that God is working a mighty work right now, and that He means to finish what He has started with triumph and glory in believing that He is able in all circumstances and the best is yet to come. So I sit, resting in this hospital bed, marveling at the stars ablaze, and I wait. And watch. Knowing that this promise holds true:

And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age.
Matthew 28:20 International Standard Version


  1. Katy! That was beautuful! Your words give me such inspiration! My prayers are with you and the boys. And yes indeed, we DO have a mighty God!

  2. Oh. Katy...those babies are a miracle...your faith is a miracle...I am awed by it all and humbled by a Mighty God who holds it all in the palm of His hand.


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