Friday, July 15, 2011

...with all there is...why settle for just a piece of sky?

Yeah, yeah...this is from a Barbra Streisand movie. I totally admit it. I am a sucker for old musicals. Love them in fact. And Yentl is one of my absolute faves. Love Funny Girl too. And Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. And pretty much anything with Judy Garland. You might think I'm cheesy. And so what if I am?

In any event, back to business, because let's face it. Time is a hot commodity right now. The boys came home from the NICU about 48 hours ago, maybe a little bit more, and life has been a blissful chaos ever since. Here are a few things I have discovered:

1. I will always be doing laundry. Always.
2. I will usually be covered in puke. Thus far, the following items have been sacrificed to projectile launches of formula: two tank tops, one bra, a pair of sweatpants, one robe, oh and one Boppy pillow. I won't even begin to list the clothes the boys have gone through. Needless to say, I have changed the sheets on both cribs, twice already, and they don't even sleep in their cribs.
3. Sleeping gowns suck. Yeah, I said it. No one wants to deal with a stretchy bottom band and a yard of fabric in the middle of the night when your child is screaming and hungry. Those will be living in the closet for...the rest of forever probably.
4. Swaddlers are awesome. Not the fancy "I'm a swaddler blanket" kind. The real deal, long happy swaddling blankets. Thank God my cousin sent me two, or I would not have known their amazingness.
5. I might not continue breastfeeding. And while I consider the reality of this, I am coming to terms with two things: my perception of myself as a failure and other's inevitable commentary, which I will work hard to disregard. Because I have to do what works for me. Because happy mom, happy babies. And let's face it, I am already stressed and there are only so many hours in the day. I'm doing what I can.
6. I promised myself I wouldn't jump every time somebody cried or whined and I would "let them settle." Yeah right. I broke that promise in hour one. Ah well. They are too little to really figure out a routine or self-soothing yet anyways. Right? (I keep repeating this to myself at least.)

My point in quoting Yentl was this, go big or go home. And while I am taking it a bit out of context, this song, particularly, these lyrics, always serve as a reminder to me that you have to believe that God can go big. He can move the molehill, sure. But, even better, He can move the mountain. And it's ok to ask for Him to move the mountain. As long as you bring your shovel too.

The most important thing I have learned in the past few days of full house, full family? That believing God could go big and asking for the whole sky has changed our lives in the best possible way ever. Every day, for the rest of my life, I will be grateful that God isn't happy with us having just a piece of sky. He wants us to have the whole thing too. We just have to believe. Jeremiah 29:11.

PS. That pic is from the boys' very first doctor's appt. They rocked it! :)

1 comment:

  1. I love musicals too! Especially the classic ones, but I think my favorites are Music Man and Sound of Music!


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