30 Things: My Dream Job

I haven't done one of these in awhile (holy holiday insanity!!), so I'm working to get back on track. I'll be really digging into this come January...I may or may not have a little idea cookin' that will be a better home for these particular posts (here's a hint).

In case you're just catching up, I've taken a bit of a personal tone with blog posts lately, because I'm in my quiet season (at least as far as photography is considered...I am burning the candle at both ends at The Studio Hampton Roads...2014 is going to be amazing!). Here is where the idea stemmed. And I'm on #7. My dream job.

I thought about this long and hard. I've had lots of jobs. And now I own my own business (two in fact!) and still work full time (at a company I love!). Are any of these my dream jobs? What does that look like? And then I realized just that...my dream job isn't a specific job. It's what that job, any job, might look like. Sure, secretly, I'd love to be a lawyer with spunk and killer instincts, or a brilliant writer with a huge following of groupies, or an internationally acclaimed wildlife photographer...but I want to keep this dream within reach. And I very firmly believe that you must love your job. You spend far too much time there to hate it.

My dream job is somewhere that:

1. Respects and welcomes my ideas. I'm a thinker and have endless energy for strategizing and streamlining workflow efficiency. I have lots to say and I need a safe place to say it. I might not always be right, and I certainly don't expect everyone to nod in agreement at every word. I just want to know that my voice matters.

2. Works hard, plays hard. I like to work. I like to be in my quiet little cave, head down, powering away. But then I also like to laugh. Take a break and recharge. A company that values its employees enough to encourage down time is a company that is going places. Happy employees work hard.

3. Cares. It's very important to me that my job is community minded. Working together to serve others in meaningful ways that give back means I stay grounded, conscious of others' needs and am contributing to something more important than myself or the corporate machine.

I guess my point here is that any company can encompass all three of these things. Whether you work for yourself, wait tables or serve as the CEO on a Fortune 500 company, all of these are attainable and worthy expectations. With these three platforms as your foundation, any job can be your dream job.

PS. Sometimes you just have to work to get by. It's not fun, you hate it, but it must be done. Do it and do it well. And keep your eye on the prize. Choose joy daily and be grateful always.

PPS. Here is an example of one of those companies that is doing things right. Awesomeness on every level.

30 Things: If I Could Have 3 Wishes

If you're somehow just falling into my 30 Things series, here's the inspiration behind the challenge. Here are the first five from the blog if you're interested in playing catch up:

1. 20 Random Facts
2. Three Legitimate Fears
3. My Relationship with Your Dad
4. 10 Things I Would Tell my 16 Year Old Self
5. 5 Things that Make me Most Happy

And now for #6. Three wishes. This is a good one.

1. I'd wish for all the money I'd ever need.
I phrased this one deliberately. All of the money I'd ever NEED. Not ever WANT. I'd wish for the money to make sure my family was well cared for...proper home, safe cars, future education, food, health care...the good stuff. I'd wish for enough to make life simple, less stressful, but reasonable. Money can be dangerous and if you don't pay attention, it can ruin everything. I don't want all of the money in the world. I just want enough to cover our needs and remove the stress of not always knowing if we'll be able to provide the future for you that we hope for as we stare at those tiny brains and personalities at work and know you are meant for greatness.

2. I'd wish for cures for all major diseases and sicknesses.
At first, I thought to wish for the cure for cancer, because it's a disease I hate and know so personally. Then I thought, wouldn't I want to wish for good health and an end to all medically related issues for all? And I figured that would tilt the cosmic balance of the planet and we'd all live forever and there would have to be 60 people to a house because there was no room for us all. And I don't want to wish for something that makes the world implode (and yes, I'm taking my wishes very literally). For one, death is a part of life, we all get sick sometimes, and learning to cope through difficulties is an important character lesson. Secondly, when it comes to "afflictions" (I use that term loosely, because it offends me)like blindness or deafness or Down Syndrome...well, in short, I think life is more interesting with those people in the world and I think they are some of the most beautiful people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and their uniqueness makes them amazing and teaches us how to stay human, among a million other lessons that we desperately need to learn. In so many cases, they are the standard to which we should measure our own lives. So, with all that in mind, I settled on wishing for a cure for the big stuff. Cancer, AIDS...the ugly stuff that rips lives apart. Oh, and the stomach flu. Nobody needs that.

3. I'd wish for everyone to know and love Christ.
This probably should have been my number one, but I write how I speak and sometimes it takes me a minute to get around to the important stuff. This wish has two parts, one, that everyone could know and love Christ and be intimately aware of the hope that comes from a personal relationship with Him. It's like feeling the warmth of the sun after the darkest night. But two, that those who know and love Him would act as He would, truly, in love. That the word Christian would no longer be synonymous with hate and judgment, and that all Christians would wear their faith and beliefs as a banner of love and encouragement, not a war cry for their own egos and perceived injustices. That's a big wish. I'm probably cheating by including it here. Wishing away the fractured state of the church and the poor example so many have set for the world really deserves its own spot. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

What's up next for 30 Things? Stay tuned for What is Your Dream Job and Why?

30 Things: 5 Things That Make Me Most Happy

Well, this one's easy. 5 things that make me most happy.

1. My family - Hands down, without question, the obvious number one. I could never have guessed the joy that my children would bring into my life. The sunshine that streams into my heart with the tiniest smile or the happiest giggle or the silliest joke or the sweetest moment. In truth, you are beyond being life-changing, you are life-saving.

2. My faith - Being a woman of faith is no small task. The believing is the easy part. And I'm the first to admit, I do better on some days than others. But my happiness, my pure joy, comes from knowing that God celebrates and loves me for who I am and that He created me in His perfect image and cups me in the palm of His hand. Seeing His handiwork in my life in so many different ways and understanding the countless simple touches He has made to adjust my sails back to the right path. Yes, this makes me very, very happy.

3. My job - See #2 as to how I ended up where I am today, but this still deserves a stand alone on the list. You spend more time at your job than you will at any other activity or part of your life. I will spend more time with my coworkers and clients than I will with my own family. With this in mind, I hold firm to believing that you should be happy at your job. You should love what you do and it should be fulfilling and challenging. Aim high for this luxury. Don't be afraid to dream big to achieve that job that truly makes you happy. There may be moments in your life where it's just not a reality, but you should always be working towards it. Don't be afraid to make a change to up your happy. I did and I am beyond grateful. Again, see #2.

4. Hope - Yup. Hope. Hope means there is always light at the end of the tunnel, that a bad day can turn around. Hope makes me happy. Hope means anything is possible.

5. Hard work - Feeling that I have accomplished something brings me great joy. Digging in and tackling a problem or task, putting my head down and focusing on getting the job done, and then reaching that moment of completion and going "Awesome. Done." That makes me happy. Never underestimate the value of hard work.

Funny thing, this challenge at first seemed a bit trivial and cliche. I figured I'd pump it out and move on to the next one on the list. And then I realized something interesting. I'd forgotten how happy the things on this list truly make me and it brightened my day. I need to remember this.

30 Things: 10 Things I Would Tell My 16 Year Old Self

It's time for another installment of 30 Things. I dedicate this one to my 12 year old daughter.

10 Things I Would Tell My 16 Year Old Self

1. It might feel like the end of the world, but it isn't. You'll laugh at yourself later. Try and aim for this:

Instead of this...

2. God doesn't make mistakes. His creation is perfect, in all its many facets and unique traits. He made you just the way you are for a very specific reason. Love every bit of that reason and embrace yourself as beautiful and intentionally designed according to His master plan. You are meant for greatness. Just the way you are.

3. Remember that your parents just want you to have the very best life that you can. Sometimes you'll hate them. And trust me when I say, those moments hurt them just as badly as they do you. They'd love to be your best friend. But they're willing to be the enemy if it means that you're safe.

4. Do your best in school. It seems so trivial and unimportant at this age. It isn't. Developing the ability to complete tasks, manage a workload while also having a social life, stretching your limits to achieve the very best results, respecting and listening to the leadership in your life...The person you are developing now academically is the person you will be professionally. Take it seriously.

5. Any friend that tells lies about you isn't a friend at all. No matter how popular they are, you don't need them in your life if they are willing and able to boost their own popularity at your expense.

6. What you think is love, isn't love. Enjoy the feelings that you have right now and experience the excitement that is young "love," but know that the real love God has in store for you when you meet your soul mate will blow what you are feeling right now out of the water. It will be that amazing. Be excited for it. And with that in mind, don't waste your body on this. Save yourself for that true love that is coming. Trust me when I say, it will be well worth the wait.

7. Read every book you can get your hands on. Eat them up.

8. Get involved. The emotions of being a teen can be overwhelming (especially as a woman) and if you're not careful, you can easily find that you have isolated yourself. Couple that with fear of what the rest of the kids will think, and you may find yourself passing on opportunities to join a group or activity that in your heart of hearts, you really want to do! Fight the urge to wallow in isolated anguish and work to make connections with others who have common interests and experiences. Take a chance. Develop strong relationships. Be a good friend.

9. Sometimes you will have to fly solo (Yup, this age is full of perceived contradictions. I know I just said don't isolate yourself!). Sometimes standing alone is the right thing to do, but you should know it will never be the easiest. The single greatest challenge of this time in your life will be learning what your convictions are and how to hold fast to them. Make sure when it really counts, you do the right thing. Choose wisely and don't be afraid to weather the storm. Even when you think you're truly alone, you're not. God is with you, and someone, somewhere is watching your strength and fortitude and you are encouraging them.

10. Shake it off. And shake it off some more. The name of the game at this age is drama. Your days will be full of highs and lows. Celebrate the highs, shake off the lows. But at the end of the day, if the lows are hard to shake, don't be afraid to ask for help. Despite what you may think at this time in your life, your parents know what they're talking about and they love you. It's ok to ask for help.

30 Things: My Relationship with Your Dad

Challenge 3 in 30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me -

Where to begin...

Your Dad is pretty much the polar opposite of me. In the very best way. While I am running at the speed of light, breathless and overwhelmed with a million to do lists, your Dad can stop and just enjoy the moment. While I'm constantly drumming up new ideas to take over the world with my business know-how and creative dream bubbles, your Dad is content to just work hard at his job and provide for his family. He grounds me and reminds me to relax. Stop and smell the roses. Breathe. Your Dad is my anchor. He reminds me to be goofy and that the dishes can wait. He challenges me to make sure my professional goals aren't at the expense of my personal goals. He's quiet and simple and chooses his words wisely. He's a homebody and a loyal friend. He's a good man.

And he's a fantastic father. He loves all of his children so much more than he can ever put into words. I've seen him cry at the hurts, laugh wholeheartedly at the silliest antics, and be patient in ways I simply struggle to comprehend. He is a proud Dad and there's nothing he wouldn't do for his family.

I'd be lying if I said marriage was easy. It's not. Especially ours. Much like most families, we have our own set of circumstances that make walking this journey together uniquely difficult. But at the end of the day, he's there. I'm there. We're there. Our children are our life and I wouldn't have it any other way. He is the best man I've ever met, my soul mate, my best friend. He's your father, and in that, he's given me the greatest gift of all. You.


Keep up with my progress on this project - Challenge 1: 20 Random Facts HERE and Challenge 2: 3 Fears HERE.

30 Things: Fears

Deuteronomy 31:6 CEB

"Be strong! Be fearless! Don't be afraid and don't be scared by your enemies, because the LORD your God is the one who marches with you. He won't let you down, and He won't abandon you."

And yet here I am.

If you're a parent, you have fears. A million of them. They make your heart race throughout the day, haunt your dreams at night and if you're not careful, they can overtake you. As someone who struggles with OCD, my need to control and mitigate danger for my children has to be carefully reigned in. Thankfully, my husband is very good at reminding me to breathe and that "Boys will be boys." And just as an aside...if you're a step-parent, the same problem persists. With a whole new set of fears. Can I get an Amen?!

If you're married, you have fears. If you're not married, you have fears. If you're breathing, you have fears. We are truly our own worst enemies. Here are my top three and why. (PS. Spiders didn't make the list, although they'd come in a close #4)

1. I am utterly terrified that I will be taken from the Earth while my children are still young and that I will not be able to see them grow up and that they will be without a mother. I'm pretty sure this ranks as Number 1 for most Moms. I feel this is exponentially magnified in my own heart because of the long road I traveled to bring these two little miracles into the world. And yes, I praise God every day and know in my heart He blessed me with the desires of my heart and to trust in His steadfastness and that His timing is perfect. And yet, I fear. And think that Heaven cannot possibly be more beautiful than this life here with them and that I will hate it there if I have to go too soon. And I am scared to think of my children growing up without me. How they might be scarred and forever affected by the loss of a parent. I want their childhood to be practically perfect in every way. The fear of a mother.

2. I am afraid that my father will relapse. He's been clean for over 10 years now. But after experiencing almost 20 years of what it feels like to have a parent gripped with drug and alcohol addiction (with relapses too numerous to count), I have what I consider a healthy fear of the possibility that it might happen again. I rejoice in his sobriety and cannot properly articulate here how proud I am of his growth, but I'm also aware that today is a good day, but tomorrow might not be the same. One day at a time.

3. I mentioned this in my first 30 Things post, but it deserves another mention. I have terrible stage fright. I panic. I can sing. I can play piano. I am blessed with a gift. But I'm too terrified to share. This one surprises most people. Having a very strong personality and what I'm sure many interpret as an overly confident demeanor, they struggle to understand this fear. Which can make for lots of awkward conversations when I get asked to perform in any way under any circumstance. "Oh it will be fine! You'll do great!" simply does not suffice here. I kick myself over this fear time and time again, but at the end of the day, my music is the place where I heal, and if this is the one thing I hold sacred and secret for myself, than I don't think I'm doing too badly. I think a person like me needs something special that is all its own and serves purely to bring you back to a place of peace. It's my self-therapy.

Having said that, I sing all day every day to the boys. My fear is trumped by my desire for them to feel free to sing whenever and wherever they choose, whenever the mood strikes them. They sing from the moment they awake until their tired bodies finally fall asleep to the little sounds of them humming in their beds.

PS. Yup, these are iPhone Instagram pics. And just for fun, if you didn't know it, there is a company called Stickygram that turns your Instagram photos into magnets. I use them periodically because these magnets a huge hit with the boys. They have a deal going on until Monday, September 23 where you buy 3 sheets for the price of 2 by using the code SUMMERMEMORIES. Check it out!

30 Things: 20 Random Facts

This all started with a Pinterest board.

As I was working on building up the resource library for this new board, I sifted through some old pins that I never quite got around to exploring. And I found this one. And was reminded that this one was really important.

I'm working through the graphics to make my own little book for my boys of "30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me," but I thought it might be neat (and technologically smart - yay online backup!) to chronicle it here. Not only will it keep me accountable, but I bet it might be a fun read for you all, especially since so many of you are so wonderfully invested in my life far beyond our interactions as business clients, and as always, I am humbled and touched by that special relationship we share.

So. Number 1. 20 Random Facts. About Your Mama.

1. I'm obsessed with horror movies and lame sci-fi flicks. Like, really lame sci-fi flicks. And by obsessed, I mean the Sci-Fi channel is always on and I've seen "Mosquito Man" and your father thinks I'm insane.
2. I watch aforementioned horror movies through my fingers and typically have to cuss a lot and break down the many ways the present victim deserves their fate because of all of the stupid decisions they made. And I usually watch them in bed with the covers up to my eyes (and fingers) with your Auntie Becky huddled beside me as we whimper in fear together. Hey, that's what best friends are for.
3. I do not share food well. At all. I once read that if you really love your significant other, you give them the best part of the meal. Oops.
4. I gorge myself on movie theater popcorn. Like to the point of sickness. I can't be stopped. And see above reference regarding sharing. It's even better the next day when it's a bit stale.
5. I love all books. I can read just about anything. Books are my happy place.
6. My favorite movie is Meet Joe Black. Anthony Hopkins is my favorite actor. And there's something about a person truly experiencing every aspect of life for the first time that fascinates me. It's beautiful.
7. I hate spiders. HATE. And once beat one to death in a toilet with a tampon. (That's a long story for another time.)
8. Every tattoo I have is a marker for a particularly important moment in my life. I work myself through pain, challenges, heartbreak, growth...with ink. It's excruciatingly cathartic.
9. I prayed steadfastly that you wouldn't be allergic to peanuts. I can't live without peanut butter. My heart breaks for those friends who are challenged with this and other health issues. We are blessed. Beyond measure. And not just because we can eat Reese's Pieces.
10. I was a marching band geek. Something tells me that doesn't surprise you.
11. I wish you could have met your grandfathers. It makes my heart sad. You wear their names well.
12. Jane Austen is my favorite author. She is a female powerhouse and she changed my life in high school.
13. Cherry Coke. YUM.
14. I married your Dad because I knew he was a fantastic father.
15. I wish I had never sold my old school Nintendo system for Sega Genesis. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
16. I have terrible, mind-numbing, crippling stage fright. And truth be told, I'm a pretty talented musician. A blessing wasted...don't ever be afraid to share your strengths.
17. Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite Bible verse. Cool story - I got it tattooed on my neck when I was pregnant with both of you (no, I didn't know). I wasn't sure I'd ever be pregnant - again - and I was working through that pain. Ironically, God was blessing me with the desire of my heart at that very moment and I didn't even know it yet.
18. You already know that I have OCD. You are my kids. BUT, what you don't know is that my OCD can isolate me and make me a very bad friend. I have to work hard to socialize. I very easily turn into my own island. You boys helped save me from that.
19. I played field hockey, softball and volleyball in high school. I was exceptionally NOT talented at all of them.
20. Your sister will tell you I give in to just about anything if you come equipped with Sour Patch Kids. Or dark chocolate covered almonds. Or peanut M&Ms. Or Twizzlers. Heck, just come prepared and I'm an easy target.